Frazzled!!!

If I cook one more crockpot of meatballs, I'm going to stab someone with a toothpick! I may even break the toothpick in half and then stab someone! Since becoming a Christian, I have promised myself every year that I would enjoy the Christmas season. If anyone should be enjoying Christmas, it is the Christians. In fact, if you are not a Christian, next week should be just any other seek. So, don't stay home from work.

Sorry, that is a blog for another day.

Truly, I do not like what we refer to as the "holiday season" - the period from Thanksgiving to New Year. We live in a country that is not thankful for what our founding fathers did and is trying to remove God from the planet. Why in the world do we run around for six weeks being thankful and worshipping things we can't afford to buy? Does anyone else see anything wrong here?

Anyway, when I became a Christian, I decided I would enjoy, celebrate, embrace Christmas since it is in recognition of the birth of my Savior. For six years, I have made it about this far before snapping. I was again on the verge of snapping - tired enough to cry and irritable enough to throw off the armor of God and go at it with someone.

A Travis Cottrell song has saved my sanity and my soul this year. I am currently listening to it over and over when in my car. Yesterday morning, I really listened to the words of the song and the affect was like a mild sedative. As the words sunk in, I just relaxed, retreated into the presence of Jehovah, and chilled out in His embrace.

Let me share the words of the chorus with you:

Search me know me
Try me and see
Every worthless affection hidden in me
All I'm asking for is that You'd cleanse me Lord

Create in me a heart that's pure
Conquer the power of secret shame
Come wash away the guilty stain of all my sin

Clothe me in robes of righteousness
Cover my nakedness with grace
All of my life before You now I humbly bring

Just typing the words brings tears to my eyes. You know what is powerful and works in those words? God is active not me. God is at work. God is moving. I just humbly come to Him, but He is the doer.

I listen to those words, and I shift to autopilot. I think I'll just coast along in the passenger seat for awhile!

Struggles or Spiritual Shortcomings

Yesterday morning, as I was journaling and praying, God revealed to me a struggle is actually a spiritual shortcoming. What does that mean? When I struggle with an idea, situation, person, I am not being obedient somewhere along the way. Either I am not being obedient, or I am lacking in faith. Maybe I struggle even being around a certain person. Maybe there is a certain person who cannot stand to be around me. In that case, there must be an issue of unforgiveness or lack of love. I'm not talking about getting on each other's nerves here. That is just plain irritation. I'm talking about hate, anger, resentment. Those are struggles. If I have truly forgiven the person, maybe I have not been obedient in what God intended on me doing with that person. Maybe He doesn't want me around that person, or maybe He doesn't just want me around the person, but to witness to the person. Have you ever noticed how much we hang around each other yet do not witness to one another?

The struggle doesn't have to be a person. It can be a lifestyle. Again, I'm not talking about compromising on sin here. There are some lifestyles that are sin. Period. God has clearly and SIMPLY laid out in His Word what He expects and accepts and what He doesn't. I'm talking about whether or not you are struggling to maintain your witness. You can oppose sin and show the light of Christ. Doesn't God?

In addition to being disobedient, sometimes I just don't have faith. I don't really think God will heal that person. I don't really believe God will deliver that family from financial disaster. I don't really believe God will restore that marriage that looks like something off a soap opera. I generally and usually believe God can do anything. However, if I am being honest, there are moments of doubt or even hypocrisy. I say I believe, but do I live as I believe?

When we lack faith and are disobedient, we see ourselves struggling...that feeling of unrest. It is a spiritual shortcoming. We are not allowing God to work through us completely. We haven't surrendered completely in order to receive the grace to do what we are not capable of doing...love, forgive, shine as the light of Christ's love.

I read the coolest verse I have ever read this weekend in Jeremiah 15:16 Your words were found, and I ate them, and Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have been called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts.

That verse is exactly what I want to do 24/7. I want to consume the word of God, lick the spoon, turn up the bowl. I want to eat it, breathe it, and live it. I will struggle. We all will, but from my struggles will come spiritual growth. I will move forward toward the prize. I have been called, and I will live to glorify God's name.

Perfect? No way...not even close. Christian? All the way!

Ruined by Christmas Pageants

Whether you go to church at least three times a week or have never darkened the door, you have seen the manger scene depicting the birth of Jesus Christ. Maybe you saw the real deal with live sheep, cows, and humans. Maybe you have seen the life-like forms in plastic. Maybe you have seen the tiny, shelf-sized figurines. One way or another, I believe everyone in the U.S. has seen the nativity scene.

So, what do you see? Jesus and Mary are by the makeshift cradle. Baby Jesus is in the makeshift cradle. The shepherds and wise men are making their visit to the King of Kings. Animals are everywhere. Well, let's just stop right here. Have I missed anything? Did I describe it accurately?

Here is the problem. Those wise men were NOT at the birth of the baby Jesus. Nor were they there a day or two later. Think about it. They came from afar and probably by camel, but certainly not American Airlines. Those wise men did not see Jesus until he was between the ages of 1 and 2!!! Now, this clarification does not shake my faith. It does not question my salvation. It does/has put something unbiblical in my head as fact though. I don't want that. I've got the Good Book. I want my thoughts and images to be based on what is in it!!!

Now, I realize you can't have a nativity, play, skit, drama that lasts 1 to 2 years. It requires some editing for the sake of time. For the love, at some point have a child walk across stage with a poster reading - ONE TO TWO YEARS LATER... Replace that plastic, baby Jesus with a toddler and carry on with the show. We need pageants, plays, movies, dramas. They help us picture some things our minds can't quite picture. Let's be accurate though!

Start asking people who visited baby Jesus in the manger. I bet you'll be surprised by who and how many include the wise men. I did until yesterday!!!

Spiritually ADD

At times, I have spiritual attention deficit disorder. Can you relate? You are so distracted, worried, or hurried you realize hours have gone by and you haven't prayed or praised the Holy of Holy? For some, it may be days even. I have learned to tell when the spiritual ADD has kicked in. I can tell as soon as my eyes open. If I wake up feeling things, all is well. However, if I wake up thinking instead of feeling...look out!

You know what I mean. Instead of your first thoughts being praise of our Lord, you are running through a mental check list in your head: I need to go here. I need to call so-and-so. I have a meeting. I hope I don't have to speak to so-and-so. When my mind is racing, I find it more difficult to praise and/or pray. In addition, I am more easily distracted. Humans by nature are distracted. I think of the movie, Up. In the movie, the dogs will be mid-sentence and shout, "Squirrel." Some days that is me. I am mid-prayer, and my mind shouts, "Year-end inventory today." Another example is being mid-praise. When we are praising God, we are not just with the Highest High. We are on the highest high. Mid-praise I will realize my mind has switched to matrix argument (having an entire argument with someone in your head).

There is a cure for Spiritual ADD...the Holy Spirit! This morning I could tell I was like a plate of Waffle House hash browns: scattered, covered, chunked! My mind was all over the place. I struggled through morning prayer time. I couldn't focus to journal. It took forever to fill up a page...let alone my usual three! Driving to work I thought, "Lord, I don't want to spend a day struggling to be with You." That's when it hit me. Hello??? Ask for help! I stopped then and specifically prayed for God to get me focused, settled, back behind His lead. I want you to know it worked. After a few minutes of praying, I settled right down. Why wouldn't I? Praying to be aware of His presence is definitely in His will. I get that one answered immediately with a big, "Aaaaawww."

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life. Jude 20-21 Isn't that good?

Keeping Vigil

I had a conversation last night with my WMU director. She is working on promoting this year's Lottie Moon Christmas Offering at our church. For those of you like me and may have never heard of the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering - it is a fundraiser for international missions. This year's theme is Who's Missing Whose Mission? Isn't that good...doesn't it make you stop and think?

My director was talking about how we keep vigil for people who are missing...lost. We bring flowers, light candles, sing, pray for safe return. We should do those things. My mind automatically thinks of missing children when I think of vigils...the wait for his/her return.

What are we doing for our spiritually lost? They are the ones missing Jesus' mission, my mission, every Christian's mission. Are we holding vigil...praying...expectantly waiting for their admittance into the body of Christ? What am I doing? I can think of name after name of those who should have been on the pew next to me in worship service this morning or name after name of those who should have been in worship services somewhere. It is the Sabbath after all.

Have I forgotten the power of prayer? Have I never fully understood its power and potential?

It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among who I am foremost of all. 1 Timothy 1:15

I, even I, am the Lord, and there is no Savior besides Me. It is I who have declared and saved and proclaimed, and there was no strange god among you; so you are My witnesses, declares the Lord, and I am God. Isaiah 43:11-12

I have been saved. I am His witness. Let the vigil for the lost carry on through me and through you. Who's missing............ Who's praying?

Jesus Is Enough

I used to think my life would lead to one defining, huge moment that glorified God: Jonah and the whale, David and Goliath, Paul on the road to Damascus. Later, I realized it is not about one defining moment but a daily walk with the Lord. Oh, but just this week I have realized it is not even the daily walk. It is about the every second surrender.

Before I get into this post, let me make something clear: I love my safety, my stuff, and my schedule. If you alter any of those three things for my family or myself, I am liable to tailspin. However, that tailspin must lead back to the Feet of Mercy. See, in order to surrender you must be truly broken. Sometimes that includes pain. Sometimes it comes in revelation. Sometimes it comes as both. In order to be broken, Jesus Christ must be enough. In good times and in bad times, I must know, that I know, that I know I am O.K. because Christ is in me and with me and for me.

There used to be times when I thought the world was against me. There have often been times I thought no one understood me. There have even been times when I was on top of the world and untouchable...as good as it gets.

It is not about the circumstances or their changing in time. Christ is there, and He is really all I need. I may lose my spouse, my son, my home, my job, my family, my friends. However, I can never lose my relationship with Jesus. That should not just be a scriptural fact. It should not just be a sermon point. It should be my comfort, my strength, my resolve, my peace.

Is your world spinning out of control? Are you dying on the inside but have painted on a smile? He is there for you. He is waiting for your invitation. It isn't His invitation. It is yours. Maybe you've already invited Him in. Is He enough, or is He just an addition to your stuff? Is your faith secure as long as everything on your checklist is O.K.? I'm not saying you have to be suffering or going through a difficult time to relate to this concept. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Our security should be FELT in both extremes. Whether you are experiencing a high or your lowest low, your heart should be saying, "Jesus is enough. He is truly the only thing I need. He is sufficient. His grace is sufficient."

Our God is amazing and loving beyond what I can fathom. Although He is enough, He still looks to bless, and bless, and bless.

In an earlier post, I told you about receiving e-mails from God (don't panic...read the earlier post). Well, I received another one this week...a big one! I was antagonized by someone this week. I don't like to be antagonized because it draws ungodly responses from me. I prayed throughout the day, "What do I do? What should I do? What would you have me do?" No joke - the next day I received an on-line devotion that instructed Christians to stop asking God what we should do and start asking, "God, how can I glorify You in this situation?" I was stunned! Not only was there truth and wisdom in the question that gave me an immediate answer as to how to respond to this situation, but I almost hit the reply button to tell God thank you!

Oh, He is enough. He is way more than enough!

Earthquake or Earth Shattering?

Sometimes things that seem so simple are my biggest struggle. For example, scripture says there are some people and some relationships you are to avoid, stay away from, sometimes run from. Scripture also says the greatest command is to love...even your enemies. So, how do you love when you have to end a relationship? How do you witness to that person whose lifestyle is more immoral than you can imagine? Oh sure, in your mind you say sin is sin. I am no better. However, love is a state of doing not just a state of being.

So, how do you bridge this gap? My pastor, who I firmly believe has been put on this earth to keep me grounded in the Word of God and nowhere else, made closing comments recently at the end of a song service that tilted the planet...my planet anyway. He was speaking of scripture that tells us to remove sin from our lives and to stay away from those who don't remove sin from their lives. He went on to say there are just some people you cannot be friends with. I immediately thought...here we go...how can you love your enemy and not be friends with someone?

Then he said it, and the light came on...literally! You may not be able to be friends with someone, but you do not change your witness. As Christians, the light of Christ should shine through us at all times, in all circumstances, with all people. You may not be able to befriend everyone, but you must be a witness for Christ to everyone!!!

Wow! Do you get that? Does that changes things for you in a dramatic way? It certainly does for me. Some people don't want friendship from me. Some I can't maintain a friendship with because they just will not work to remove sin from their lives...at least letting it be a work in progress. BUT I can, should, must, will remain a witness for Christ to that person!

Friend....witness...not necessarily the same thing!!! Wow! I love it when scripture finally sinks into my brain cells! Whew!