Deliverances

Psalm 68:19-20

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden,
The God who is our salvation.
God is to us a God of deliverances;
And to God the Lord belong escapes from death.

When I read this passage, 3 words jumped off the page: daily, deliverances, escapes. Sometimes, actually a lot of the time, when I think about deliverance I think about the moment of salvation. The evening I prayed to receive God, to have Him, to house Him, to be filled with Him, I was delivered from spending eternity in hell. Although the most important deliverance, that was not the only deliverance. Note the above passage uses the plural form of escapes and deliverances, as well as the word daily.

I CAN be delivered over and over again of circumstances, habits, negative feelings. God is the creator. He is also the deliverer. My problem is I'm not asking for deliverance. I get to the end of each day and start making a list of the things I am not going to do or repeat. Ironically, my list looks the same almost every day. It looks something like - Tomorrow I will not talk about anyone. I will not be irritated by other people's bad attitudes. I will not discuss every emotion I have.

I am filled with lots and lots of imperfections. I do think I have a top two though: I am easily offended, and I like to talk. Not only am I easily irritated and quick to anger, I like to tell people about it. I should have been an ESPN commentator. I'm all about a play-by-play. Scripture warns us not to be easily angered and not to have loose lips. Well, speed limit signs warn us not to drive fast, and I ignore those too.

Because my pressure cooker mouth and emotions lead to sin: gossip (Oh honey, if you make me mad, I'm telling someone about it), self-centeredness, an attitude of entitlement...I feel convicted. Now I praise God I feel convicted. I want to feel bad that I sin. Sometimes, when we are distant from God and distant from His Word, we don't even feel bad about the sin in our lives. Because I do feel convicted though, at the end of the day, I start my lists of things I won't mess up tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and guess what...I do those same things over again.

Here is my problem: me. I'm focusing daily on what I am going to do and not do. Psalm 68:20 tells me God is the God of my deliverances. I shouldn't have a to do list. I should have a prayer. God, please take away my pride, my Superman size of self, my need to be treated fairly. Ancient of Days, please take away the chip on my shoulder. Holy of holies, please take away the desire I have to vent (I love to vent). Savior, help me abide in You, rest in You, want You. Do we get that we can ask God to help us want Him? Sometimes we want us. We want our stuff. We want our routine. Sometimes we need God to put a shot of desire for holy in our hearts.

My problem is I'm not asking for, let alone claiming, the deliverances God has for me daily. He knows me. He created me. He watches me and is with me. As a result, He definitely knows what sin, situations, people, attitude, and conditions I need to be delivered from. The wonderful thing is that I'm in a relationship with the Savior. It's a two way street. He saved me, but He waited for me to ask. He will deliver me, but He is waiting for me to ask.

Holy Father, I want and need my daily deliverances. Help me. Guard my heart and especially my mind from sin. Take away my desire, well almost my need, to tell every thought in my head. Replace the hostility in my heart (not only am I easily angered, I like to be angry...don't shake your head...it gives me energy). Lord, change my desires so what I want is what You want and what I feel is Your will, Your way. Oh, that's it....Lord, have Your way with me. Fill me up. Deliver me...5 times, 500 times, 5,000 times!