A Lesson and a Gift

This post will be a little scattered because it should have been two different posts. I haven't been able to get to the Portico when I needed to over the past week or so...too busy; too, too busy! Who knows what didn't make it to the Portico because my brain shifted gears before thoughts were captured by my post-it notes. The inside of my purse is lined with post-its! I will try to be better about regular posts...for selfish reasons...it is one of my favorite things to do.

The Lesson - My training union class is doing Beth Moore's study on the Book of Daniel. I love her studies on books of the Bible because you REALLY know the book when you are finished with the lesson. In her last video segment, she made a statement that rocked my heart, soul, and mind. I get rocked so often it is a wonder I don't stagger when I walk. Anyway, she was discussing being sealed. When you receive Jesus Christ in your heart and are filled with the Holy Spirit you become sealed. Meaning the Evil Onc cannot get in. He can try to trip you up from the outside world, but scripture says he CANNOT be in and/or control your thoughts and emotions. It didn't dawn on me immediately. I have heard, talked, and discussed this scriptural fact before. However, later God turned the lights in my head on high-beam. Holy revelation!!!! The Evil One doesn't know what I am thinking! Do you get how huge that is? If I am thinking and sinning in my thoughts (which I do A WHOLE, WHOLE LOT) that stinking serpent doesn't know it!!! He only knows it when I speak it or put my sin into action. Then he can jump into action and try to trip me up in the world. Do you see how important it is not to vent and not to lose your witness? It is not just about me being a stumbling block for someone else. It is also about me not tipping off the one who wants me to fail. He can only hear and see what is on the outside. I almost cried over the relief of this fact. It is painful enough that my Savior knows my sins...sees the daily failures in my mind and heart. What a relief to know the Evil One doesn't know it if I don't show it!!!! In recent days, I can assure you I have become much quieter and calmer. At first, it was intentional but it is becoming holy habit!!!

The Gift - I had the strongest urge (which I have come to know as God) to go to Christmas Eve mass this year. I have been a proclaimed Southern Baptist for about 3 or 4 years, but prior to that was Catholic. I mean born Catholic, Catholic school educated, plaid uniforms, and weekly mass Catholic. I haven't been to mass in 6 or 7 years. Yesterday, I just started having this desire to go. I knew my dad would be there, and I didn't want him to be by himself. So I thought it would be a nice Christmas present for him if I surprised him by showing up. I must confess I was pretty apprehensive about going. I knew it would bring back a flood of wonderful memories, and I wondered if I would feel the presence of God in a more powerful way. I can't really explain to you why I thought that other than the fact there is something very moving in a mass.

I was flooded by emotions. Nothing had changed in the cathedral itself. I remembered every responsive reading, prayer, and psalm and loved being a part. I loved being there with and for my dad. It was obvious it meant a lot to him. While I did feel close to the Lord, I didn't feel Him any more or less than I do at my home church. For some reason, maybe affirmation, I was tickled to death to experience that. I also heard the most powerful homily (sermon) by the priest on salvation I may have ever heard. I wanted to stand in the pew and shout amen! That would have been different in mass! The priest laid it out there...a beautiful explanation of you and I being reconciled to Him by accepting Christ into our hearts. I was dumbfounded. Was this homily the first time I ever heard the plan of salvation in mass, or was it always here and I didn't hear it? I'm still very curious about the whole thing. I felt like the whole experience was a gift from God. Here was the gift: I took my Bible with me. If you have never been to a mass, all the readings come from the Bible. Yes, the same Bible used by Southern Baptists. However, most Catholics don't carry their Bible, highlight it, study it. That was my gift from God this year: to see how much I love my Bible. I needed it in my hands. I opened it and read the readings from its pages. I will return to a church on Sunday where I will study it for Sunday School, read from it during the sermon, study again the Book of Daniel in training union. Next week (thank you K.S), I will be part of Bible drill for the first time in my life. I can hardly wait! I love the Word of God. There cannot be too much exposure to it!

Praise God. Worship Him. For His love, study His Word.